Planes, Trains, Buses and the Tomahawk Chop

These are all the things that made the day for 2 little boys! About a month ago we had some tickets to a Braves game. Uncle Aaron and Aunt Mae Mae went with us and taught them the "Tomahawk Chop" (and we got to see fireworks)! Ever since then, they constantly ask us to play "the chop" on you tube for them and they will do this over and over and over and over and over and over . . . . They absolutely love it!! We had tickets to go the the game again last night, for Chipper's farewell. Todd had wanted to go, but ended up leaving a day early for China and did not get to go. We were supposed to go with Aunt Kim, Uncle Chris, Savannah and Slade, but they were going Sat night and not so sure about doing it 2 nights in a row. So, I asked my parents to go and still had 3 extra tickets, which Aunt Lisa, Melissa and Andy gladly decided to use. Due to parking we decided to take MARTA. They drove down to College Park and we met them there. College Park is right by the airport. My boys stood in amazement as they watched the enormous planes literally pass right over their heads. They thought that was big stuff. It didn't stop there. Next we got on a train. Nothing compares to choo choo's these days . . . life was grand!! Then, we got on a bus . . . Jeremiah asks me every Sunday that he sees a bus if he can ride. Then to the Braves game to "get their chop on"! It was pure bliss for the 2 little ones. We made it through the game (the braves did lose unfortunately) and what happens on Fridays . . . FIREWORKS!!! It only made the night that much better. Our boys had a blast and we laughed at them much. Joshua was about to fall asleep but would chop every time the music played :) It wouldn't be right to leave out the bus ride from the stadium back to five points, though. We were PACKED on there (not surprised). But so packed that I was standing and holding Jeremiah and nothing else. Nope, I just bounced from person to person as we chugged along turning the corners. I think it may have scarred Jman from riding buses for life!!! All in all, I'm so glad that we went. The smiles on their faces for the entire night was priceless!!

Our God is Faithful . . .

I have not written in a while. Honestly, I feel like taking care of my household and going to work is about all I can do. I think back to a year ago . . . I was training for a half marathon, led a bible study with 2 young women, taught 11th & 12th grade sunday school, and who knows what else. My children were younger then. Isn't it supposed to get easier as they get older. I continue to question why I don't seem to be able to get anything done. I really don't have an answer for that. Maybe my children's increased activity level? Just a shot in the dark. Still no answer . . . I just can't do any more. And that's ok. When everything was fresh with Abigail it was hard to process. We just kept pushing through (a one and two year old can be very helpful with that!) I feel like now, 3 months later, I am processing it. Quite frankly that last couple of weeks have been really hard. I cry often. I watch several friends (who we all found out within a few weeks of each other that we were pregnant) all continue with healthy pregnancies. I am grateful that they do, don't get me wrong, but it is a constant reminder to me that Abigail went to be with our Lord before I ever met her. Just saying that reminds me of my own selfishness. Occasionally I revert back to "why", but quickly remind myself that our God is good and that He is sovereign! I truly do believe that. Mostly I just realize that I have a hurting heart that is still dependent on God to heal it. Speaking of dependence, I, by nature, am pretty terrible at that. I have always been very independent, never struggling with self esteem. Today, that is different. I feel as though I fail at most things. My most heart wrenching failure is that I feel I am not a good mother to my children. Jeremiah is incredibly defiant and testing right now (actually they both have their moments, Jeremiah's are just more frequent.) I could be a much better and more supportive wife. Really, there are days where I feel like I do nothing well. Many would tell me that Satan is feeding me these lies (and that is true to an extent.) But what is greater, is that the Lord is teaching me a true and complete dependence on Him. Dependent on Him to heal my heart. Dependent on Him to parent my sweet little boys. Dependent on Him to be a godly wife. Dependent on Him just to make it from one day to the next (this is a pretty common thing.) I have stepped back and away from many things (and people). But this is ok for a season. The Lord is teaching me and conforming to be more like Him. I (and definitely Todd) might question whether I am learning anything . .. but my prayer is that I do. That I may consider this trial a joy (James 1:2-4)! That He may receive all honor, glory, and praise. That as I grow He may use me for His glory, and His alone. Over the past couple of weeks I have had a patient. She is a sweet lady, even if she complained a lot for the first couple of visits. As we talked, we learned that our lives shared many common experiences. Though different in some ways, we have both seen our husbands through seminary, been a pastor's wife, adopted 2 children, and lost a baby when 5 months pregnant. It is not coincidence that our paths crossed . . . it was through God's sovereign plan. She has been an encouragement to me and a HUGE reminder that my God loves me and has adopted me as His child. He sent her to me as that reminder. Though my heart aches greatly right now (not a day or probably hour goes by that I don't remember that I had hoped to be meeting my baby girl in a couple of weeks), God is faithful. I am so thankful for the gospel and that God chose me! Blessed be the name of the Lord!! This song sums up my thoughts well :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLuaGiu73jc